I was pretty sure this week that we’d never find the right balance again. I get that way when I’m broken, I know. The end of the world! Nothing will ever be better!

I think he fucked me for all of last Sunday. I mean all. day. long. with the fucking and the fucking and the fucking. No coming for me. Boo.

Then we spent the week working hard. I didn’t have a drop of libido.

Wednesday night, he thought we’d play in the evening, but I know that never happens. He’s tired, I’m tired, we open some wine, we go to sleep, which is exactly what happened.

Today, though, he just totally flipped the switch. Where I thought I was broken, I wasn’t. He had me outside, in the hood, on the balcony and did a million things this morning. There are lots of smutty smut photos on the camera.

Then he stuck me in the tub, told me to make myself all clean and pretty, and took me out this evening. We went to a farmery sort of thing — how to grow grapes. But since he’d told me to wear my hair down and wear a dress, he took me out to dinner at a really cute and yummy place near there. It’s been a long time since we’ve dressed up and gone out to eat. It was lovely.

I felt cute in the dress. Still do, actually. I may wear it forever! It used to be skin tight on me. I don’t remember where we bought it, but I remember feeling skinny when I could wear this size (a 6) and it’s loose on me today. I hope the pictures look as skinny as I feel. (Eh. Not sure. Boo.) He says I’m losing weight on my face, too, which I’m very psyched for.

(I saw muscle definition in my arms the other day!)

(I hope he lets me come soon. Jesus.)