I am asking, with respect, for you input. The simple would be some protocols you have that enforce your feelings, enrich your experience, and for these alone I’ll be grateful. Anything more would be a blessing, and I would count it as such.
From Master Magnum, who certainly gave me a lot to think about.
First off, I think we work at this point just because we’ve been progressively learning to live with each other for 20 years. He’s certainly been heading in a particular direction, but getting there has been a pretty long and twisty road. But that would be my first piece of advice: know where you want to go, and keep that destination in mind while you make decisions. It’s really easy to get off course. One of the things M.’s done as well is to keep my hands off of the steering wheel. It makes for a much smoother ride when I’m not trying to jerk it away. It’s not that I’m incapable of driving when he needs or wants me to for specific things, but the direction is his.
I wouldn’t think you need to be different than who you are to make it work. M. lets all of his personality show. He’s not some stainless steel caricature of a “Master”. He sings on his tractor. He reads trashy SF. He obsesses about peak oil and really shouldn’t talk about politics after he’s had a couple of drinks. He’s shy around strangers, sometimes socially awkward. You know, he’s human. I always said that belonging to a mere human (and a male one at that!) was the ultimate in submission. He’s bumped us into some walls, made plenty of mistakes, as have I, of course. Mere humans — I like that, though.
I think some of the structure and framework around my submission helps keep it grounded for me. I don’t have many rules, but I follow the ones I have, like writing in this blasted journal three times a week.
I’m not sure what else, but I’ll think about it. I think M. will as well. I’m sort of intrigued to watch what you do! It sounds like you two could really make something awesome happen, and how cool that she found you again. When I first moved in here and M. went to work and I was home all alone, I used to go through old porn magazines he had in boxes in his closet from the 60s and 70s. I could always spot his personal ads, every single time.
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Hi, you guys. I loved what you have said. I also wondered at how it could work with loving someone and still wanting them to cry. I am still hung up a bit on the love side and don’t always push my slave hard enough for my liking. One question, ok? Leesa do you think your submission is more for his liking or do you think or know that you need to submit to make you who you want to be.
Mmm.. thank you, really. And naturally it also follows My girl, who follows you, found this. Unintended consequences, I guess. She seems quite gratified and touched that I am burying My ego enough to make this effort (My own words not hers, except for the part about being touched). Here’s the thing, she admires what you two have. I’m not much different, I would say, than M, really. I sing in the shower, worry about peak oil Myself, don’t take Myself all that seriously all the time. But I do want to be taken seriously all the time in THIS role, without being a constant ogre about it. Hell, like I said, I’m probably overthinking it. I just want to be the best of everything for her. Not asking TOO much is it?
And to friend SirDuke. My own view, totally YMMV here, is you HAVE to commit yourself to wanting what your slave needs from you. Tears come in many forms, you don’t have to beat them out of her necessarily, some precision humiliation is very good for this, and what ALWAYS works if you’re at all into it is the deep-throat fuck, the choke-and-gag. Messy, distressing, oh yeah.. all that AND a bag of chips, you have to watch for panic, keep her just under that, let her know she’s going to live, just will have to gasp and gag a bit. NOT for everyone, sure, but I wouldn’t dismiss it without trying it if you want tears without brutal beating.
Wow.. sorry to jump into your blog here guys, really am. Just feeling exuberant. Again, didn’t intend for rhonda to hear all this I wrote but I goofed thinking it was a private message rather than a comment, AND… it’s been good to have her know this too, now I get her input more openly, and I needed that.
Oh! I didn’t realize you meant it to be private. I’m sorry. It came through as a comment so I just approved it and thought it would be better to answer as a post, since I was writing an essay. I can pull it if you want. Just let me know.
I think the times M. doesn’t do almost exactly what he wants are the times we go off the rails. He doesn’t fake anything well.
And of course I’m in this for myself. I went out looking to be owned. I met him in the kinky sex forum on Compuserve. The one time I really tried to get away, my handle was “cuteprey”. I’m plenty self-aware. I am happiest when we follow his path, period, the end.
Hell, what I got off on when I was fucking around was going on lots of different trips — as long as they did whatever they wanted, I was pretty content to go along for the ride.
Sometimes I wonder about what M.’s doing and where he’s going, but it sure seems to be working.
NO problem, like I said, that little reveal honestly built something important, ultimately. So let’s call it serendipitous.
And maybe just reading back over the essays, seeing the what’s and all, will be enough. I’d still kinda like to know what protocols you guys DO have, I’m not big on a bunch of silly gestures and contrived manners either (not into the whole Gorean nerdesquerie sorry all you kajiras out there) but I do like a few things that serve to enforce and bind the dynamic, without becoming trite and dry. With other’s where it’s been successful, well… heck yeah I’d love to hear whatever you care to share.
At some point in the future My girl will also post her views and thoughts from the beautiful slave mind she has, too. Like I say, she’s been a fan for some years now. That’s not changing soon.
Magnum
Follow Up:
Well… we worked it out.
So we went there, this tawdry place that has a fondness now it would never have had otherwise. First time in so long, older now, less dynamic maybe? Hard to say… probably not, terribly but hey the years they do their work.
Ok. Let’s keep this simple, short. Tough to do, I want to tell so much. But trust Me it’s all worked out. The gushing orgasms, first time in a very long time for her and before the evening ended it seemed she had never cum any other way. My god she expressed milk! That’s unprecedented, and as one we both had the thought that this body wanted Me to make it pregnant. No no no much too old now but… sure nice to know the body wanted it. Of course I was putting some pretty tremendous squeeze on those oh so pliant breasts. I kissed her gasping mouth, I gave her wine from My own mouth when she thirsted, had her sit beside Me on the floor, fed her, not allowing her to use her hands, wiped her mouth when something smeared. It’s almost trite to read it but it was so perfect in it’s practice with the attitude, the feeling we were having for one another.
I bruised her, tits and ass with cane and strap, made her mascara run from tears. I covered her mouth and nose, whispered “I love you” harshly in her ear as she struggled with not struggling, dicked her down hard felt her gush all over us felt her wilt in the exhaustion of it. I felt that gushing often… once when she was on the phone ordering our meal standing, bent over, fingers hard in her cunt, I could feel her squirting onto My lower legs standing a foot behind her.
And we were romantic, and playful too. She sat in My lap, we kissed like lovers, we laughed at things goofy and fun that just occurred to us, but then the giggling would stop and the moaning and gasping began again.
I came in that room her lover, the man she wanted and loved. We left that room her Master, and she My slave, the Man she needs, her owner, My beloved property. We are complete.
We worked it out.
Yay! That sounds like a hell of a start. Surely y’all are going to write somewhere where I can follow along, right? Please?
That’s happening, kind of, as we speak. I have her journaling, it’s interesting and it has fits and starts. I ask her to simply tap into the internal dialog I know is always going there, but it becomes this chore sometimes for her, NOT the result I’m looking for. But still we are collecting things. I’ve written some too, we haven’t formalized the blog notion as yet, but I am sure it’s coming. Details need to be worked out in our lives, too, so we can live it together and full time rather than in bits and pieces of stolen moments.
But I do appreciate the interest. Yes, it was a good start. There’s been some hurdles since, some bliss, and yet more hurdles and doubtless bliss to come. I’ll keep you posted on what we finally get into doing.
I noted the piece where you weren’t sure if you had any “nuts and bolts”, protocols, etc. then when you looked a little deeper you noted that one about keeping your hands open. Fascinating detail, and I wonder how that sort of thing passes your notice when you first consider having them? Is it just so ingrained now it doesn’t seem a nut or bolt, simply a piece of the overall fabric? Hmm…. no doubt there’s other little things that may come to mind, and each of them would fascinate Me and ….. no end.
Thanks again, more to come, adieu for now