I will never be an exhibitionist, I fear, even though it makes logical sense to me that I might as well enjoy it because it’s going to keep happening. That line of thought never did well when it came to rape, after all. It’s really hard to lie back and enjoy it.
I have all sorts of fun and am sort of fun to be around, I think, until the camera comes out. I have far more fun when I can just remember how I felt inside my head rather than see reality in a picture.
In my head, I’m pretty and hot, sexy, sultry. I like being sexual, in almost every sense of word.
You’d think the answer to that would be blindfolds and hoods. I do forget about the camera when I can’t actually see it, but now I’m really good at hearing it, understanding the pauses. I can even tell when he can’t find it. It’s hard not to tell him where it is.
I still enjoy the break in pain it brings. That only happens with the still camera. Video cameras are evil.
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I read this and had to laugh at my own feelings. Last night I wrote in my own journal about how since Master has been reshaping my body my ass is starting to look good to me. I was feeling really sexy and hott. Then this morning while he was at work he emailed me to send him a pic of my ass for him to see when he wasn’t in close proximity to the real thing. Well……… by the time I was done taking the pic I was back to thinking it old saggy and not so hot.
still life, gotta hate it.
You are pretty, hot, sexy and sultry.